Squirrels Gone Wild!

Purple Squirrel!

2012-02-08T08:36:00.002-06:00

http://www.theblaze.com/stories/see-the-purple-squirrel-discovered-in-pennsylvania/

Squirrel Appreciation Day

2012-01-27T10:03:00.003-06:00

How did we miss celebrating Squirrel Appreciation Day? Better put January 21 on our calendar for next year.

Blew Inn, outside Reeseville, WI

2012-01-04T13:56:00.002-06:00

As seen while I was dining in rural WI.

What to say?

2011-12-04T07:26:00.000-06:00

Chewie Fighting Nazis While Riding A Giant Squirrel

2011-08-05T21:46:00.001-05:00

Best of the Squirrel

2011-08-03T11:44:00.000-05:00

http://ireport.cnn.com/blogs/ireport-blog/2011/08/03/top-five-squirrel-y-ireports-through-the-years

Squirrel Armor!

2011-05-19T14:08:00.000-05:00

http://i.imgur.com/jl4oZ.jpg

When Squirrels Attack!

2011-03-16T15:42:00.003-06:00

A Bennington neighborhood is being stalked by a renegade gray squirrel, but a Vermont state veterinarian says it's possible the animal is upset because it's homesick for the people who raised it.

At least three people on East Street in Bennington say they've been attacked by a squirrel over the last few weeks.

Kevin McDonald said he was shoveling snow recently when a squirrel jumped onto him. "All of a sudden I felt something on my back and shoulders, scratching," McDonald said.

McDonald said the day after he was attacked he saw a neighbor battling a gray squirrel. He later learned that another person on the street had also been attacked.

One possibility is that the squirrel was raised by humans and then released into the wild. "They've lost their fear of people and they go ballistic (when they encounter a person) because it's not their human," Johnson said. Another possibility is that the squirrel suffered some sort of injury.

"The take-home message is don't try to take care of wildlife because it's very hard to return them to the wild," Johnson said. "A tame squirrel is a loose-cannon sometimes."

Siamese Squirrel

2010-11-18T22:59:00.000-06:00

Squirrel Seeks Chipmunk

2010-09-25T10:13:00.001-05:00

Animals, they're just like us! Petty and foolish, prone to ugly prejudices, poor life choices, and generally calamitous idiocy. Such is the crow-black thesis of David Sedaris' seventh collection, Squirrel Seeks Chipmunk, in which the humorist, long a droll chronicler of human foibles, turns his absurdist wit and opposable thumbs to fables of the feathered and four-legged.

The entries in his lurid bestiary may be brief — few exceed a dozen or so large-font pages apiece, including Ian Falconer's witty illustrations — but they are clearly not meant for children. (Unless, perhaps, your child is a tiny, sadistic Quentin Tarantino in training.) Gooey viscera aside, Squirrel's anthropomorphized critters are adult in the most banal ways: They visit the hairdresser and go out for Chinese food, take their coffee black and attend 12-step meetings. In ''The Faithful Setter,'' an Irish hound endures his mutt wife's ill-bred insecurities; in ''The Parenting Storks,'' a monstrously self-absorbed bird makes Joan Crawford look like a model of sweet maternity. These louse-y, lousy creatures invariably meet bad ends, in ways far more graphic and grisly than anything Edward Gorey ever imagined for his young charges. Only the final story, ''The Grieving Owl,'' offers a hint of a happily-ever-after — and even that involves (no joke) a rabble of singing, anus-dwelling leeches.

Some Sedaris fans felt he had begun to exhaust his store of Homo sapiens-based anecdotes in 2008's When You Are Engulfed in Flames, and Squirrel does seem to free him creatively, while still indulging his singularly skewed worldview. (Who else would invent a strung-out mink selling his own pelt for booze?) And for the strong- stomached, these tales are toxic little treats, fun-size Snickers bars with a nougaty strychnine center. But at $21.99 for a scant 159 illustrated pages, Squirrel doesn't quite make a meal.

2010-09-16T09:02:00.001-05:00

Terror Babies!!! Operation "Drop and Leave" has begun!!

2010-09-09T15:31:00.002-05:00

Be forewarned! This is just the beginning of squirrel interspecies infiltration. First cats, then humans. Then, in 18 years or so, the squirrels "wake-up" and destroy our country from the inside. We knew this would happen eventually. Write your congressperson before it's too late!

Squirrel master plan of infiltration: Baby squirrel adopted by cat, learns to purr.

Monkeys hate flying squirrels, report monkey-annoyance experts

2010-08-02T13:34:00.002-05:00

This riled-up response is probably just a false alarm, with the monkeys mistaking the squirrel for a predatory bird. On the other hand, male macaques – some of whom give chase and even attack a harmless rodent – might be trying to impress females in their troop.

Although this tough-guy motive was not proved in a new study, "it is possible that adult or sub-adult male monkeys may be 'showing off' their fitness" as potential mates, said Kenji Onishi, an assistant professor of behavioral sciences at Osaka University and lead author of the paper being published in the current issue of the journal Primate Research.

Biologists and psychologists have long studied macaques' complex social interactions for insights into human evolution and behavior.

However, much remains unknown about how macaques get along (or not) with other creatures. Better documentation of such encounters could reveal more about macaque societies as well as that of our shared primate forbearers.

"Human evolution occurred alongside primate evolution from a common mammalian ancestor," Onishi told LiveScience. "Therefore, it is important to learn the evolution of primates in understanding the previous steps in human evolution."

Intruder alert!

When Japanese giant flying squirrels glided over to a tree in the monkeys' vicinity, adults and adolescent macaques started hollering at it threateningly, the researchers report. Young macaques screamed and mothers scooped up their infants, while adults and high-ranking males in particular went and physically harassed the offending squirrel.

Onishi said other researchers have observed macaques responding in a similarly aggressive manner to birds that prey on the monkeys, such as the golden eagle and mountain hawk eagle. These raptors glide and swoop much like the flying squirrels.

Upon closer inspection up in a tree or on the ground, however, the squirrel is clearly no bird of prey. Yet the animal still raises the hackles of the macaques.

Other woodland creatures, including hares, deer and wild boars, barely elicit a response from macaque groups, said Onishi, though dogs and people will sometimes instigate alarm calls and a fleeing from the immediate area.

Meet the macaques

After humans, macaques are the most geographically dispersed primate on the planet, living across southern Asia and into North Africa. The rhesus macaque is also perhaps the most familiar monkey to Westerners, common both in zoos and as lab animals.

The Japanese macaques in the study are well-known for a group of them that hang out every winter in the Jacuzzi-like Jigokudani hot springs when it gets too cold and snowy outside (no wonder the species is also nicknamed "snow monkey").

The adult male Japanese macaques range in size from about 20 to 24 inches (50 to 60 centimeters) tall and females about 19 to 22 inches (4.8 to 5.5 centimeters).

This gives the monkeys a clear size advantage over their flying squirrel antagonists, if one does not count the squirrels' tails. The squirrels documented in the study were typical for their kind, about 12 to 15 inches (30 to 40 cm) long and with a bushy tail of about equal length.

Show of (non)force?

When chasing macaques did succeed in getting close to these infringing squirrels, the monkeys tended to look on "in fear and hesitated to attack," Onishi said.

In rare instances when the bolder monkeys did physically assault their quarry, Onishi said the squirrels were neither harmed nor eaten and eventually escaped.

Though clearly not interested in eating each other, the diets of the animals do cross when it comes to fruits, nuts and other delectables. But a territorial defense of food resources is not the motive of these militant monkeys, as there are "low levels of food competition between macaques and the squirrels," Onishi noted

It is more likely that a simple misunderstanding about the squirrels' nature underpins the melee.

Mewa Singh, a professor of psychology at the University of Mysore in India who has studied macaques, pointed out that the flying squirrels are generally nocturnal, whereas the monkeys are active during the day.

"The interactions between monkeys and a flying squirrel, therefore, are not expected to be frequent and the monkeys may not "know" whether the squirrel is a predator or not," said Singh, who was not involved in the study.

All in the game

Nevertheless, the fact that adult males had a greater tendency to be the ones beleaguering the flying squirrels led Onishi and his co-authors to speculate that a measure of flaunting biological fitness to the females is in play.

At the same time, a generic "battle stations!" response to raptor-like behaviors from any sort of animal, whether featured like a bird or not, might prime the macaques for when real danger glides into town.

This hair-trigger might increase the possibility that macaques in the troop "survive when true predatory threats emerge," Onishi said.

Chewbacca fighting nazis while riding a giant squirrel

2010-07-28T11:56:00.001-05:00

chewy comission fur on fur by *gamefan84 on deviantART

BrewDog’s beer now stuffed inside of roadkill

2010-07-22T11:56:00.004-05:00

If Scottish beer isn’t enough to make you feel excessively manly, Scottish beer jammed inside of a dead animal should do the trick. BrewDog’s absolute most expensive beer “The End of the World” is now featured inside of an animal. Obviously the animal has been put through the entire taxidermy process before the beer bottle was jammed into their insides. You can keep a look out for these, but each bottle will cost you $762 on up to $1,067.

Nut? What Nut? The Squirrel Outwits to Survive

2010-07-07T14:27:00.002-05:00

I was walking through the neighborhood one afternoon when, on turning a corner, I nearly tripped over a gray squirrel that was sitting in the middle of the sidewalk, eating a nut. Startled by my sudden appearance, the squirrel dashed out to the road — right in front of an oncoming car.

Before I had time to scream, the squirrel had gotten caught in the car’s front hubcap, had spun around once like a cartoon character in a clothes dryer, and was spat back off. When the car drove away, the squirrel picked itself up, wobbled for a moment or two, and then resolutely hopped across the street.

You don’t get to be one of the most widely disseminated mammals in the world — equally at home in the woods, a suburban backyard or any city “green space” bigger than a mousepad — if you’re crushed by every Acme anvil that happens to drop your way.

Read more in the NYTimes...

Save the Squirrels!

2010-06-18T11:29:00.002-05:00

Rope Bridges Expected to Save Five Squirrels a Year From Being Road Kill Save the Squirrels!

Squirrel vs. Twins!

2010-05-26T09:29:00.000-05:00

Conan O’Brien on Twitter: ‘Today I Interviewed a Squirrel’ ‘Help Me’

2010-02-25T12:08:00.001-06:00

Poor Conan ‘O’Brien. Since he left NBC as host of “The Tonight Show,” he is going into late night withdrawal, and he has resorted to interviewing backyard creatures. Like other celebrities, the pompadoured comedian has discovered Twitter, and since he opened his verified account yesterday, Conan has already gained over 235,000 followers.

In O’Brien’s first tweet he wrote:

“Today I interviewed a squirrel in my backyard and then threw to commercial. Somebody help me,” O’Brien tweeted to the world.
Check it out here.

The Dreaded Black Squirrel Winter!

2009-11-18T15:56:00.002-06:00

Story excerpt: Four (there spelling) every thick fog, Mullis places a big bean in a jar. For every little fog, he puts in a small bean. Once the winter arrives, Mullis removes a bean after every snow and finds out how accurate he was at the end of the season.

This year, Mullis is expecting a heavy winter, with nine big beans and eight small beans in his jar.

“It’s unusual to have more big beans than little beans” he said, noting that his jar usually contains around four big beans and five small beans.

In addition to the increase in snow, Mullis is also predicting an occurrence he has never predicted before.

“It’s what the Indians call a ‘Black Squirrel’ winter or the ‘Winter of Sorrows’,” he said. “My mom’s 86 and this is the first year she’s seen the black squirrel. We’ve all seen them this year. That’s supposed to be the harbinger of something bad.”

Mullis acknowledges that “a lot of people laugh at this,” but noted that many of the people that use to laugh are now the ones asking about the beans in his jar.

Read Dreaded Black Squirrel Winter!

White Squirrel are Unique!

2009-11-06T12:46:00.001-06:00

"There's two squirrels, and you get to see them everyday. We walk through, and they're playing together, jumping around playing in trees," said Michael Moor

http://wjz.com/watercooler/white.squirrel.sightings.2.1295408.html

They’re cute, but squirrels can drive us nuts

2009-10-24T12:56:00.001-05:00

Although the title doesn't suggest it, this is kind of informative piece about squirrels habits and biology. Check it out at Cute and Nuts!

British Squirrels! Squirrel doctor! Battle!

2009-09-30T21:26:00.003-05:00

A squirrel doctor is going to save the red squirrel!

In an attempt to save the native red from extinction, Tim Dale will spend the next four years on the frontline of the battle between red and grey squirrels to discover why the deadly squirrel pox virus is destroying red populations and whether they can become immune to it.

Dr. Squirrel story.

Adoption! Humans should be more like dogs/squirrels. Are you listening, China?

2009-09-16T10:09:00.002-05:00

If humans could be more like Princess and the squirrel and the little pups, we would all get along a lot better," Corinne Thomas told KTLA. "It doesn't matter what you have on the outside, it's on the inside." Check it China!

The Onion does squirrels

2009-09-08T21:31:00.001-05:00

You Follow One Kid Home, Rip Out His Eyes And All The Sudden You're A 'Killer' Squirrel

I'm a happy-go-lucky squirrel who loves living the good life of climbing trees and eating nuts. Mostly eating nuts. Man! I can't get enough of them. So tasty. But let's make one thing clear, right here and now: I have never killed anyone.

Look at me! I'm a squirrel, for crying out loud. How am I going to kill a human being? Even if I wanted to, it would be impossible. "Killer Squirrel?" Please. It's just a cruel name made up by lazy journalists who want to move papers.

The truth is that the "attack" in question was merely the result of an unfortunate misunderstanding between myself and a young boy with a bag of peanuts, who remains alive and well to this day. Does he have both eyes? No. Is he blind? Absolutely not! They were able to surgically re-insert the left eye, and he has about 40 percent of his sight in the right one.

So you tell me: How does that make me a killer?

More at onion squirrel.

THE SQUIRRELIZER

2009-08-31T15:07:00.001-05:00

Adds that ground squirrel to any image

http://www.lutralutra.co.uk/

I <3 Squirrels

2009-08-25T14:13:00.001-05:00

Big profits in spare time!

2009-08-24T15:18:00.002-05:00

2009-08-16T19:38:00.000-05:00

Super popular squirrel who likes pictures!

2009-08-13T18:29:00.002-05:00

Squirrel Story Link!

Problem solving with people help

2009-08-10T11:00:00.003-05:00

Maybe the Squirrels won't kill us when they take power after all, if we be good to them.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1jByfWOLmjo&feature=player_embedded

Jedi Squirrels

2009-07-31T13:16:00.003-05:00

0c636debb48222c27f73768855d0f77c.jpg � fukung.net : Dance funny man. Dance!

Action Figures and Chipmunks

2009-07-17T13:16:00.001-05:00

What? "Squirrels have ADD". This is clearly some sort of propaganda by the chipmunk enthusiasts. Then again, these photos were taken without the aid of Photoshop.

Action Figures and Chipmunks -- Chris McVeigh's Wild Kingdom - Asylum.com

Do NOT FUCK WITH MOTHER SQUIRREL, DOG! ...cont.

2009-07-01T09:25:00.003-05:00

...SQUIRREL, DOG! ...cont.

2009-07-01T09:24:00.001-05:00

...SQUIRREL, DOG! ...cont.

2009-07-01T09:23:00.002-05:00

Do NOT FUCK WITH MOTHER SQUIRREL, DOG!

2009-07-01T09:07:00.006-05:00

Hank Williams' Stuffed Squirrel Band

2009-06-29T12:14:00.001-05:00

Hank Williams' Stuffed Squirrel Band, courtesy of some tweedlebopper who presumably went to the Country Music Hall of Fame.

Frequently asked questions about squirrels...

2009-03-27T09:08:00.003-06:00

Want to know the answer to riveting questions about squirrels?

Check it out: http://www.boobooinc.com/sq/faq.html

Bald squirrels will regrow fur in weeks ahead

2009-03-24T12:35:00.000-06:00

Sunday, March 22, 2009

Donna Miller

Plain Dealer Reporter

Sure as a Northeast Ohio snow shower in April, the Lake Erie Nature & Science Center gets a couple of dozen calls each winter and early spring from concerned people who have seen bald squirrels.

There's no cause for alarm.

The fur loss is caused by a fungus or mites that spread easily from squirrel to squirrel in their winter dens. On frigid days, squirrels seek out the coziest dens and squish together. Most squirrels aren't harmed by the fungal infection, the mites or the fur loss. They will regrow fur in the coming weeks.

And dogs and cats aren't susceptible to the mites that affect squirrels, said Dave Wolf, the nature center's director of wildlife programs. Pets get the condition, known as mange, from two different kinds of mites.

Bobcats:

State wildlife officials found increased evidence of bobcats living in Ohio's southeastern counties, where 65 sightings were confirmed last year. There were 51 verified sightings the year before. The bobcat was found throughout Ohio when settlers arrived, but towns and croplands pushed them out. By 1850, bobcats were gone from Ohio. They didn't begin to move back in until the 1960s. Since 1970, state biologists have verified 255 bobcat sightings in 31 counties, by studying photographs, paw prints, roadkills and reports of them being caught by fur trappers.

Portage APL:

The Portage County Animal Protective League is struggling to keep its doors open. The nonprofit eliminated its executive director position and capped the number of cats it will take in at 40, dogs at 25. Donations are needed as kitten season approaches. In the hopes of shrinking the feline birthrate, the shelter will neuter male cats for $45 and females for $50 on April 2 and 3. Call 330-296-4022 to sign up.

Geauga pets:

The Geauga Humane Society is gearing up for kitten season by asking for donations of Purina cat food. Dry and canned food can be dropped off 24 hours a day at the shelter, 15463 Chillicothe Road (Ohio 306) in Russell Township. The nonprofit group, working with PetFix Northeast Ohio, is also trying to curb breeding by neutering pets for $10. Low-income families can sign up to have a pet neutered Saturday at PetFix's mobile veterinary clinic. Call 440-338-4819. The van will be parked outside the Tractor Supply Co. in Middlefield, where Amish families had 21 pets neutered last month. The van will travel to Amish farms across the county in the coming months.

Petland:

The Humane Society of the United States filed a class action suit Monday against Petland and the Hunte Corp., which helps supply the national chain with puppies. The suit accuses the companies of "conspiring to sell unhealthy puppies to unsuspecting consumers," falsely advertising that the puppies are healthy and come from high-quality breeders. Consumers who say they bought sick, dying or genetically-malformed puppies joined HSUS attorneys in filing the suit in a federal court in Phoenix, Ariz., where one of the plaintiffs lives.

Pet vaccines:

The Summit County health department is offering low-cost vaccinations to dogs and cats from 10 a.m. to 2 p.m. May 2 at the Sagamore Hills Township garage, 11500 W. Valley View Road. No appointment needed. Prices start at $6 for a rabies shot. Get details by calling 330-926-5630.

Easter fund-raisers:

Save Ohio Strays and the Petco at 1052 Williams Reserve Blvd. in Wadsworth are offering Easter-themed pet photos and a pet-friendly Easter egg hunt from noon to 4 p.m. Saturday. Framed photos are $7. The nonprofit group has rescued 1,100 pets in four years. Get details at saveohiostrays.org or 440-567-3585.

The Middleburg Heights Animal Foundation will raise money by offering $8 photographs of pets with the Easter bunny from 10 a.m. to 2 p.m. April 4 at the VCA Midpark Animal Hospital, 6611 Smith Road in Middleburg Heights. The nonprofit group rescues pets scheduled for euthanasia from a dozen pounds across Northeast Ohio. Reach the group at mhaf.com.

Hawk Vs. Squirrel

2009-02-10T14:21:00.001-06:00

Virginia man who shot, killed hawk in backyard says he was protecting squirrel; now faces charges

It was comin' right at us!

Also, why use a crowbar? Should have used a hawkbar?

Squirrel loves kitten!

2009-01-20T16:24:00.002-06:00

A Bit Nutty

2009-01-14T10:45:00.001-06:00

Call Center | Scotland

Me: “Thank you for calling ****. What is the problem with your telephone line?”

Customer: “The squirrels.”

Me: “The–what? Sorry?”

Customer: “Those damn squirrels are watching me.”

Me: “Uh…do you have a problem with your telephone line?”

Customer: “Yes, the squirrels have nested on it, and they watch me while I’m sleeping…”

Me: “I’m sure they’re not.”

Customer: “You calling me a liar?”

Squirrels have been blamed for setting a former attorney general's house on fire.

2009-01-08T15:16:00.000-06:00

Py-rodent-technics? How a fire-starting squirrel might look

The rodents are believed to have gnawed their way through cables, sparking the blaze at the property belonging to former MP Lord Mayhew on Wednesday afternoon.

Firefighters battled the flames for almost two hours at the two-storey cottage in Goudhurst, near Cranbrook, Kent, currently inhabited by tenants.

Lord Mayhew told the Kent Messenger: "The fire broke out in a void behind an airing cupboard and the most probable cause was squirrels chewing through cables."

A spokeswoman for Kent Fire and Rescue Service estimated about 90% of the first floor and roof void had been "severely damaged".

"The rest of the property was damaged by smoke and heat," she said.

But Lord Mayhew said he was confident restoration of the 1890s property is possible.

Four rescue crews attended the fire at 12.39pm.

No one was injured in the blaze.

The spokeswoman added that the cause of the fire was as yet unknown but squirrels chewing wires, and the wires igniting, "does sometimes happen".

Lord Mayhew was MP for Tunbridge Wells between 1974 and 1997 and Attorney General for England and Wales and Northern Ireland from 1987 to 1992.

He was knighted in 1983 and became a member of the House of Lords in 1997.

Crouching tufty, hidden dragon: The amazing Kung Fu squirrels

2008-12-12T09:22:00.001-06:00

Crouching tufty, hidden dragon: The amazing Kung Fu squirrels

"Their mean and moody expressions suggest: Go on, punk, make my day.

And when any rival is foolish enough to stray on to their territory, the result is terrifying.

In scenes more like a violent Quentin Tarantino movie than a wildlife shoot, one Cape ground squirrel delivers a ferocious attack on an interloper."

Starving, skinny squirrels eating garbage, snorting bird feed

2008-12-02T19:46:00.003-06:00

"Botanist Rod Simmons thought he was going crazy when couldn't find any acorns near his home in Arlington County, Virginia. 'I'm used to seeing so many acorns around and out in the field, it's something I just didn't believe,' said Simmons. Then calls started coming in about crazy squirrels. Starving, skinny squirrels eating garbage, inhaling bird feed, greedily demolishing pumpkins. Squirrels boldly scampering into the road. And a lot more calls about squirrel roadkill. Simmons and Naturalist Greg Zell began to do some research and found Internet discussion groups, including one on Topix called 'No acorns this year,' reporting the same thing from as far away as the Midwest up through New England and Nova Scotia. 'We live in Glenwood Landing, N.Y., and don't have any acorns this year. Really weird,' wrote one. 'None in Kansas either! Curiouser and curiouser.' The absence of acorns could have something to do with the weather and Simmons has a theory about the wet and dry cycles. But many skeptics say oaks in other regions are producing plenty of acorns, and the acorn bust is nothing more than the extreme of a natural boom-and-bust cycle. But the bottom line is that no one really knows. 'It's sort of a mystery,' Zell said."

The End of This Blog?

2008-11-09T12:23:00.002-06:00

One campus’s solution for “Squirrels Gone Wild!”

Posted: 11:06 AM ET

Squirrels at the University of California-Davis have it made.

5300 acres of lush habitat.

The eastern fox squirrel is living large on the University of California Davis campus. Wildlife scientists will use a contraceptive vaccine to try to control the population. Photo courtesy UC Davis

More than a few crumbs from students and faculty who enjoy meals and snacks outside.

(And we’re not talking the average “frugal student” ramen noodles and peanut butter and jelly. UC-Davis is home to The Robert Mondavi Institute for Wine and Food Science.)

With nary a predator, there’s been a population explosion of the non-native eastern fox squirrels, from zero to about 400 in the past seven years. And now there’s worry the critters might get more aggressive, biting the collegiate hands that feed them. Squirrels can carry bacteria that is harmful to humans. And an unchecked population could become a threat to the regional economy, spreading to nearby farmland and chomping away at the local fruits and nuts.

When college officials searched for answers to these potential nuisances, they had to go no further than scientists on campus.

And as one might expect from a campus in California, the plan is to control the population with no harm to the animals involved.

Squirrel contraception.

“This new birth control method may potentially help control squirrels or other species, such as white tailed deer,” said Sara Krause, a doctoral student in ecology who designed the plan.

“If we can test a birth control method and find it safe and effective, there’s a possibility of it being a breakthrough method in both urban and suburban areas,” she said.

Continued unchecked procreation and expansion of their territory could mean farmers and ranchers would put an end to the invasive fox squirrels permanently. Squirrels can do serious damage to almond and walnut orchards.

The birth control method being used is a vaccine, called GonaCon.

Krause explained that it’s an immunocontraceptive vaccine, blocking the pathway to the production of sperm and eggs. One shot leaves the animals sterile for about two years. And the same vaccine works on both males and females.

(Now there’s a concept that every female on the planet can appreciate.)

Krause and others have just begun placing 20-40 humane traps around the campus. The traps will be checked two to four times a day. On this first round, captured animals will be examined, marked with a nontoxic dye, and let go. The squirrels will be observed until next summer, when they’ll be re-captured. Then, some will get the contraceptive injection, others a placebo. Again, they’ll be set free to roam the campus.

If the experiment works as planned, the number of squirrels will decline to a sustainable number within ten years. And federal wildlife biologists could use the contraceptive on other prolific progeny producers.

Good Question: When Do Squirrels Start Hiding Nuts?

2008-10-23T10:17:00.002-05:00

To a squirrel, this is the best time of the year. Not only are they eating with reckless abandon to fatten up for winter, they're finding food and hiding it. But how do squirrels know how many nuts to store? And when to get started?

"The honest answer is we don't absolutely know," said David Stephens, Ph.D., a professor of animal behavior at the University of Minnesota.

"We know that all animals have internal clocks," he explained. "They know that as the days begin to shorten, and I say 'know' kind of in quotes there, that fall is approaching."

Squirrels don't generally hibernate so they need to eat during the winter. But there's not a lot of food around. That's not the case during the fall, when seeds fall from the trees, providing ample food.

So do squirrels have a target number of seeds they need to store for the winter?

"We think it's primarily determined by availability," said Stephens. In effect: "they run into something, a little supply of food, and they say, 'Gosh I'm gonna put this away.'"

How do squirrels make sure other animals don't steal their stored food?

"Of course other animals do steal their stuff. But what's cool is that they actually are sensitive to this, these are called audience effects of caching," said Stephens.

Some research indicates that squirrels will act in a more sneaky manner when they believe another animal is watching, by hiding the seeds and nuts in a more scattered manner.

So how do squirrels know where to find the buried food? Do they remember?

"They seem to encode information about landmarks ... He may know that tree over there is a place where I cached one. They are able, pretty much, to recover things that they've hidden based on some kind of memory," explained Stephens.

Of course, they don't remember everything. Some researchers believe that squirrels find about 50 percent of what they bury. Typically those seeds are buried about 0.5 to 2 inches beneath the soil surface, so forgotten seeds often sprout into new trees.
Check it out Squirrel Behavior.

Squirrel Underpants

2008-10-20T11:30:00.002-05:00

Protect the world from Squirrel Nudity!

It's important to keep your rodent dressed appropriately. See also the latex squirrel available as a "related product".

When squirrels get angry…

2008-10-01T13:55:00.001-05:00

When squirrels get angry… perhaps the best sequence of squirrel pics I've ever seen.

2008-09-29T08:22:00.002-05:00

US Soldiers in Iraq Kill Giant Squirrel

2008-09-28T12:21:00.000-05:00

Ninja Chipmunk vs. Cat

2008-09-15T12:12:00.000-05:00

OK, so chipmunks aren't squirrels, but this one is putting on some made acrobatic moves to get away from a pesky cat.

I know who drank all the beer.

2008-08-24T14:59:00.001-05:00

How About Your Nuts?

2008-08-18T12:09:00.001-05:00

30-something to his girlfriend: Don’t look at my penis when I’m a squirrel!

Uptown
Overheard by Oh Nuts.

Squirrel Catapult

2008-08-15T10:40:00.001-05:00

First Sinister Squirrel photo

2008-08-05T23:30:00.001-05:00

hopefully I'll be able to offer more sinister squirrels in the future (how many is truly enough?). clearly this squirrel is planning to take over the world.

2008-07-27T20:26:00.000-05:00

Coming to the 2008 Minnesota Fringe Festival!
An all new family friendly morality tale about squirrels!
In the lost village of the Squirrel-People, all the Squirrels are named for their most distinctive trait. There's Clumsy Squirrel, Wise Squirrel, Socially Awkward Squirrel. But the village is thrown into chaos when a young squirrel refuses to pick a name--the inconvenient squirrel!

An Inconvenient Squirrel is a live action cartoon for the stage
packed with chattering, scampering and existential identity crisis!
Designed to engage kids and adults on their own level, the show is a morality tale full of wit, intelligence...and a lot of grown men dressed as squirrels!

Performances are at The Thrust Theater in the
University of MN Rarig Center at 330 21st Ave S on:
Fri, Aug 1 @ 7 PM; Thurs, Aug 7 @ 5:30 PM;
Fri, Aug 8 @ 5:30 PM Sat, Aug 9 @ 2:30 PM;
Sun, Aug 10 @ 4 PM

Adult Tickets are $12. Children's Tickets (under 12) are $5. Students/Seniors/MPR Members: $10. Tickets are available at the door or by contacting Uptown Tix at 651-209-6799 or via e-mail at www.uptowntix.com.

Zombie Squirrel T-shirt from Zazzle.com

2008-07-09T08:44:00.001-05:00

Zombie Squirrel T-shirt from Zazzle.com

Party tonight!!!

2008-06-28T20:37:00.000-05:00

BBC NEWS | UK | MP calls for mass squirrel cull

2008-06-23T11:00:00.002-05:00

BBC NEWS | UK | MP calls for mass squirrel cull: "By trapping the greys and then shooting them, Lord Redesdale said he was recreating space for the native red squirrels.
But Andrew Tyler, the director of Animal Aid, told Five Live the project was 'absurd'.
'It's hateful and bigoted,' he said.
'The reason the red squirrel is endangered in terms of its population is because it is being persecuted by people."

Return To The Forest

2008-06-23T10:57:00.001-05:00

Return To The Forest for a blog filled with squirrel-based writings.

"The landing was a sensation like nothing the squirrels had ever experienced before. The roaring sound surrounded them, the sensation of speed increased, and an unexpected bounce lifted them off their feet. Something unseen flung them tumbling and rolling into the soft material of the pack, where Bravo clung to Paddington, shivering and bewildered. "

Photographing Squirrels

2008-06-23T10:40:00.003-05:00

Here's a flickr set of the artistic squirrel jetset at work.

Here's an old-school website documenting his efforts.Photographing Squirrels

My Squirrel Failure

2008-06-18T13:48:00.003-05:00

Squirrels squat Finnish open-air museum

2008-05-27T10:39:00.000-05:00

HELSINKI (AFP) — A popular open-air museum in Helsinki showing the traditional Finnish way of life on Monday begged the public to stop feeding local squirrels, saying they were eating away at the displays.

The 87 buildings that make up the Seurasaari museum, including cottages, manor houses, barns and other storage buildings, offer plenty of good places for the squirrels to nest and hide food.

"The squirrels have learned to hide food between wooden shingles on the roof. We saw a squirrel pulling at a shingle with its two paws until it broke," Seurasaari museum building conservator Risto Holopainen told AFP.

"Squirrels run into the buildings through open doors, they nibble on the museum textiles and make holes in the walls," he said.

He said the squirrels were causing extra work for employees.
The outdoor museum is located some four kilometres (2.5 miles) from the city centre on a small island and displays the Finnish way of life over the past few centuries.
Seurasaari is very popular among tourists and locals, not least because of the tame squirrels. An easy life has led to a dramatic increase of the squirrel population on the small island.

The museum said it was trying to tackle the problem by asking people not to feed the squirrels and preventing them getting into buildings.

The ultimate ethical meal: a grey squirrel

2008-05-13T15:31:00.002-05:00

It tastes sweet, like a cross between lamb and duck. And it's selling as fast as butchers can get it

Caroline Davies
Sunday May 11, 2008
The Observer

It's low in fat, low in food miles and completely free range. In fact, some claim that Sciurus carolinensis - the grey squirrel - is about as ethical a dish as it is possible to serve on a dinner plate.

The grey squirrel, the American cousin of Britain's endangered red variety, is flying off the shelves faster than hunters can shoot them, with game butchers struggling to keep up with demand. 'We put it on the shelf and it sells. It can be a dozen squirrels a day - and they all go,' said David Simpson, the director of Kingsley Village shopping centre in Fraddon, Cornwall, whose game counter began selling grey squirrel meat two months ago.

At Ridley's Fish and Game shop in Corbridge, Northumberland, the owner David Ridley says he has sold 1,000 - at £3.50 a squirrel - since he tested the market at the beginning of the year. 'I wasn't sure at first, and wondered would people really eat it. Now I take every squirrel I can get my hands on. I've had days when I have managed to get 60 and they've all sold straight away.'

Simpson likens the taste to wild boar. Ridley thinks it is more a cross between duck and lamb. 'It's moist and sweet because, basically, its diet has been berries and nuts,' he said.

Both believe its new-found popularity is partly due to its green credentials. 'People like the fact it is wild meat, low in fat and local - so no food miles,' says Simpson. Ridley reckons that patriotism also plays a part: 'Eat a grey and save a red. That's the message.'

A glut of back-to-the-wild TV programmes featuring celebrity chefs such as Hugh Fearnley-Whittingstall has also tickled the public's palate, but squirrel is still unlikely to be found in the family fridge. The Observer's restaurant critic, Jay Rayner, said he had never tasted squirrel, but if he did have it for dinner 'it would have to be a big, fat country squirrel and not one of the mangy urban ones you see in cities'.

'People may say they are buying it because it's green and environmentally friendly, but really they're doing it out of curiosity and because of the novelty value. If they can say, "Darling, tonight we're having squirrel", then that takes care of the first 30 minutes of any dinner party conversation. I see it remaining a niche. There's not much meat on a squirrel, so I'd be surprised if farming squirrel takes off anywhere some time soon.'

Kevin Viner, former chef-proprietor of Pennypots, the first Michelin-starred restaurant in Cornwall, who now runs Viners bar and restaurant at Summercourt, believes it will remain a niche market. But with a plentiful supply of meat - there are estimated to be almost five million grey squirrels in Britain - there is room for the market to expand.

Viner - who comes from a rural 'if you shot it, you ate it' background - said the trick was to serve squirrel fresh and not to leave it hanging like other game. 'It looks a lot like rabbit, though it is a drier meat and slightly firmer. Most of the meat comes off the rear leg. The loins are so thin they need much shorter cooking time,' he said.

'A large squirrel would be enough for one-and-a-half people. The public really are being drawn to it. I think that it's because it is being perceived as a healthy meat. Southern fried squirrel is good. And tandoori style works. It is especially tasty fricasséed with Cornish cream and walnuts. But the one everyone seems to like is the Cornish squirrel pasty.'

And his own favourite recipe? 'I must admit, I'm a beef man myself,' he said. 'But my huntsman swears by squirrel with sausage meat and bacon.'

How to make squirrel pasties
Kevin Viner's recipe for two pasties

140g squirrel meat cut into 1cm cubes;

100g sliced potato; 100g sliced swede; 50g diced onion; 30g smoked bacon;

15g chopped hazelnuts; 75g butter;

5g chopped parsley; a good pinch of salt and pepper

Method

· Egg wash edges of pastry circles.

· Place the potato, swede, hazelnuts, parsley and seasoning on to each circle followed by the bacon, squirrel meat and, finally, the onion.

· Place butter in each pasty, then fold over the pastry and crimp the edges.

· Put the pasties on to a greaseproof baking tray, egg wash both pasties well, place in a pre-heated oven at 180C or gas mark 5.

· Bake for 45-50 minutes. The juices should start to boil and the pasties should be able to move on the tray with ease.

Squirrelman!

2008-05-12T15:29:00.001-05:00

SEATTLE, Washington (AP) -- A man who has spent the past two years living in a treehouse has a new, terrestrial home just in the nick of time, thanks to neighbors.

David Csaky pulls up the ladder to his treehouse in Seattle, Washington, on Saturday.

David "Squirrelman" Csaky, a self-taught carpenter, learned Tuesday that neighbors had found an aging recreational vehicle for him to occupy.

"I'm overwhelmed," Csaky said. "I started crying when they told me."

For two years, Csaky, 52, has lived about 30 feet above the ground on city land, on a 300-square-foot platform that he built, accessible by a ladder counterweighted with sandbags on pulleys.

Csaky outfitted the treehouse with a tent, wood stove, three chairs, shelves and a counter with an unplumbed sink. His pets include Lucky, a rat; Rainbow, a ferret; and Tilt, a squirrel. Watch Csaky at home in treehouse »

He was lately threatened with eviction because the treehouse is a health and safety concern.

Brandon Ferrante, 28, and Maria Bolander, 27, who befriended him after watching the treehouse take shape, found an aging 22-foot RV online after they learned of Csaky's situation.

"It broke our hearts," Ferrante said. "He's taken care of the neighborhood. We couldn't sleep at night. We decided to make it happen."

They and their landlords, Janet Yoder and husband Robby Rudine, agreed to buy the rig for $500 after the owner offered a special "Squirrelman" discount.

"David's a unique character but a good neighbor," Yoder said.

After delivering the RV Tuesday evening, owner Timothy Custer decided instead to sell it to Csaky for a penny.

"It's Dave's new house," Custer said.

To make the house a home, Ferrante said, the task is now to find a permanent parking place.

"We don't want to see it get towed," he said.

Csaky, who got his nickname for his ability to tame squirrels, said he was amazed at the public attention, including television and radio interviews and talk show appearances.

"This is the beginning of a new life," he said.

Shoppers go nuts for squirrel pasty

2008-05-12T15:22:00.004-05:00

Sunday, May 11, 2008

Squirrels have long been on the menu at some top restaurants – but now they have found their way into the humble pasty.

May contain nuts: Butcher Dave Simpson with a wild grey squirrel pasty

And it seems shoppers can't get enough of the healthy meat which tastes great, is good for the environment and is very free range.

Butcher David Simpson, who sells the pasties in Fraddon, Cornwall, said: 'People like the fact it is wild meat, low in fat and local – so no food miles.'

David Ridley, who owns a fish and game store in Northumberland, is also surprised by the success of grey squirrels, which apparently taste like wild boar or duck.

'I wasn't sure at first, and wondered would people really eat it. Now I take every squirrel I can get my hands on,' he said.

'I've had days when I have managed to get 60 and they've all sold straight away.

'It is moist and sweet because its diet has been berries and nuts.'

There are about 2.5million grey squirrels in Britain and killing them for food could help control numbers as they are over-running the native red squirrel.

Keith Viner, former chef of Michelin-starred Pennypots in Cornwall, said: 'Southern-fried squirrel is good. And tandoori style works.

'It is especially tasty fricasséed with Cornish cream and walnuts. But the one everyone seems to like is the Cornish squirrel pasty.'

SquirrelMail

2008-04-27T05:51:00.004-05:00

SquirrelMail is a full-featured but somewhat basic web-mail interface with a Squirreltastic name... I've been using for years with no major issues. My new host, Dreamhost, has this to say about them:

"SquirrelMail - don't count the squirrel out just yet!"

http://www.squirrelmail.org/

Squirrels aplenty in Douglas Adams' "Mostly Harmless"

2008-04-24T09:59:00.003-05:00

"She stayed rooted to the spot. She still had her rock. poised and ready to throw, but was increasingly conscious of the fact that the things she had it poised and ready to throw at were squirrels. Or at least, squirrel-like things. Soft, warm, cuddly squirrel-like things advancing on her in a way she wasn't at all certain she liked.""

"She backed away again. The second squirrel was starting to make a flanking manoeuvre round to her right. Carrying a cup. Some kind of acorn thing. The third was right behind it and making its own advance. What was it carrying? Some little scrap of soggy paper, Random thought."

"I've been pestered by squirrels all night,' said Arthur. "They keep on trying to give me magazines and stuff."

Find out more by reading the whole thing

Luke!

2008-04-14T21:28:00.000-05:00

Etymology

2008-04-09T09:22:00.001-05:00

The word squirrel, first attested in 1327, comes via Anglo-Norman esquirel from the Old French escurel, the reflex of a Latin word which was itself borrowed from Greek.[1] The native Old English word, ācweorna, only survived into Middle English (as aquerna) before being replaced.[1]

2008-04-08T19:57:00.000-05:00

Natalie Dee on Flying Squirrels

2008-02-25T11:47:00.003-06:00

More available at the Natalie Dee Drawing Archive

PolitiFact | It tasted like chicken

2008-02-15T22:29:00.002-06:00

This truth-o-meter confirms that Huckabee fried squirrels in a popcorn popper.

It also offers some recipes for Squirrel cacciatore, squirrel croquettes and squirrels in cream sauce.

It would appear Backwoodsbound.com has an entire page dedicated to squirrel recipes.

Finnegan the Squirrel

2008-02-15T21:37:00.004-06:00

Finnegan the squirrel looks so cute drinking his little squirrel milk bottle. I can only assume the bottle was filled with fresh squirrel milk. Or maybe dog milk. He is apparently largely raised by dogs. Too bad there aren't any hot squirrel-on-dog-teat pics at the link above but it would appear the other puppies know how to box out Finnegan. Box out!

Oh no you didn't!

2008-02-13T09:35:00.000-06:00

Huckabee eats squirrels!

2008-02-11T15:28:00.000-06:00

Organic Free Range Squirrel Meat

2008-01-29T15:48:00.000-06:00

For all your organic free range squirrel meat needs.

http://www.internet-grocer.net/squirrel.htm

These little beauties are raised on a certified organic farm in Tennessee, are carefully eviscerated and skinned (choose from bone-in, the more expensive bone-out, or from the deluxe squirrel filet) and they're certified rabies-free by the FDA. (Since this is such a new product, FDA inspectors are onsite constantly and they inspect the meat much more closely than beef or pork.) Each carcass is inspected twice by line workers to be sure it is hair-free.

Twirl a Squirrel

2008-01-21T22:11:00.000-06:00

Squirrel Girl is here to save the day

2008-01-21T21:51:00.000-06:00

A lesser known heroine of squirreltastic proportions, Squirrel Girl and her squirrel brethren including Monkey Joe and Tippie Toe are some of the least sung heroes of the Marvel pantheon of superheroes. Apparently Squirrel Girl even helped Iron Man defeat Dr. Doom!

Check out this snippet from the tragic tales of Squirrel Girl and the Great Lakes Avengers (GLA)

Squirrel Girl and Monkey Joe took out a pair of muggers threatening Doorman and Flatman, after which the two GLA'ers invited her to join. When they ok'd Monkey Joe joining as well, she agreed, and she almost instantly joined them on a mission to investigate an alarm.
...
Doorman apologized soon after, revealing that he was trying to scare away new members to prevent their deaths. She then offered him a nut from her nutsack.

Monkey Joe:

Squirrel Cell Phone Karma

2008-01-18T08:37:00.000-06:00

Squirrel Scat

2008-01-14T20:51:00.000-06:00

"Squirrel scat is very small, and even though you may have seen lots of squirrels, you may not have noticed their small scat."

Squirrel City

2007-11-20T14:46:00.000-06:00

Things in this squirrel farm of a city have become extremely intense.
I always believed that their antics were random acts of hunger
motivated vandalism. I would even sometimes break into the irritation
I feel for them to acknowledge that yes, their poofy little tails
probably do shiver sadly on cold winter nights.

Never again will I look out on a rainy day and think of the poor
helpless squirrels. For, I now know, that they sit in those trees
embittered by our indoor resources, plotting their sweet revenge.

My realization started with a tiny noise under a table. Looking
towards the noise I ventured closer. Like a flash the little rat faced
monster, ran from room to room and, through my kitchen. I reached the
back porch just in time to see its clawed back feet propelling its garbage and vengence seeped body out of the window, so it might hide and wait for its next attack.

Little did I know, this was only a distraction. Seconds after the
first squirrel escaped me, I heard tiny footsteps on the roof above
and a small pounce as another soldier of rabies jumped down into an
upstairs bedroom. My constant mistrust of their goings on had alerted
me to the intruder at almost the same instant as the visiting neighbor
cat became aware, and so we raced together up the stairs.

I think I can describe both of our reactions as horror when we
discovered the apparent squirrel ring leader, seated a top my sleeping
son's buttocks, staring at him and plotting his evil doings and rolling his
tiny squirrelly hands.

Having selected my home as their own winter rodent sanctuary the squirrels show great unalterableness. This initial plan to devour the inhabitants and move in thereafter was thwarted by Leroy, the neighbor cat. Since this massive setback the squirrels have been attempting to negotiate a more peaceful settlement. Having learned something from history I have not made any compromises to my position in their favor.

With their food and supplies dwindling, and the time of panicked adrenaline charged rioting giving way to a more listless poking about for an acorn possibly forgotten in a clever hiding spot, the squirrels start to seem a bit more sympathetic again. Until I am in the kitchen and hear a strange scratching at the door and think that Leroy has come for a visit only to be tricked into opening for a squirrel. Or until I sit near a window and they pose on the sill outside with their best sad eyes, and I look deeply into the black watery depths and feel the quiet desire to spread disease through tooth to human contact.

The total amount of time that a squirrel can possibly sit and look into the eyes of a human and attempt to look harmless, pathetic and sweet is, by my best research, forty five seconds. As the seconds click by past twenty five, the tail starts to twitch with the burning sensation of bottled hatred and resentment. The fur slowly rises around the shoulders. After this the whole body seems to jerk every few seconds with the strain of holding back the fury deep inside.

If they could only grow a bit larger. If only their teeth could bite a bit deeper. If only they could get a bit more protein than the occasional taco left out in the alley, to build their devious little brains. If only one more blessing of strength or wit were given to these wily little devils it would be the end of us all.

What Happens When Schools Block Computer Porn

2007-11-05T13:59:00.001-06:00

Guy #1: Dude, that man squirrel is about to rape that woman squirrel.
Guy #2: Do squirrels have wieners?
Guy #1: I don't know... I want to see if he sticks it in her!
Guy #2: Oh my god! They're 69-ing each other! This is awesome!
Guy #1: Holy shit! He just stuck his head up her squirrel-gina!
Guy #2: [Captivated silence.]

--Central Park

The Squirrel and the Chipmunk as told by David Sedaris

2007-10-25T09:23:00.001-05:00

Shellac - Squirrel Song

2007-10-25T09:21:00.001-05:00

Squirrel Impossible

2007-10-25T09:18:00.000-05:00

Reggae Style!

Flaming squirrel ignites car in Bayonne

2007-10-19T10:40:00.000-05:00

It's Rocky the Frying Squirrel!

A kamikaze squirrel fell from the sky and detonated a Bayonne woman's car yesterday, police said today.

Lindsey Millar, 23, and her brother, Tony, 22, were both home Wednesday at about 12:45 p.m. when Lindsey's car suddenly started burning outside their 42nd Street home.

Tony Millar said firefighters told them it was the work of a buck-toothed saboteur that had been gnawing on overhead power lines connected to a transformer directly above the 2006 Toyota Camry.

"The squirrel chewed through the wire, was set on fire, fell down directly to where the car was," Tony Millar said. "The squirrel, on fire, slid into the engine compartment and blew up the car.

"They're always coming around here, chewing through the garbage," he added.

Tony Millar says his sister was fully insured.

"It's something to laugh about once she has a new car," he said. "It's not funny yet."
Police said there were no injuries -- except for the squirrel, that is, which is dead.

The Millars' home is decorated for Halloween, complete with a tiny plastic tombstone on their front lawn. Tony Millar said the family will consider dedicating the tombstone to the squirrel, who was not named.

Squirrels love Kinder Eggs!

2007-08-02T11:29:00.000-05:00

HELSINKI (Reuters) - A Finnish squirrel with a sweet tooth heads to a Finnish grocery shop at least twice a day to steal "Kinder Surprise" chocolate-shelled eggs.

"I named it the Kinder-squirrel, after the treats. It always goes after them, other sweets do not seem to interest it as much," the manager of the store in Jyvaskyla, central Finland, told Reuters.

The confectionary, which is intended for children, has a toy inside.

"It removes the foil carefully, eats the chocolate and leaves the store with the toy," Irene Lindroos said.

Unfortunately, the bushy-tailed thief does not clean up after itself, but leaves the wrappers behind, she added.

Squirrels have a well deserved reputation for being clever and adaptable animals. Many a home owner has seen the small rodents raiding their supposedly "squirrel-proof" bird feeders.

Squirrel tales

2007-07-31T10:57:00.000-05:00

By Karen Youso, Star Tribune

Thanks to readers who generously shared their squirrel tales and short stories. I had a great time wading through the offerings. I wish I could publish them all, but here is a hearty sampling:

Squirrels trap Minneapolis woman; police fail to respond I live in south Minneapolis and have a batch of squirrels apparently taking up residence in my back yard. I have planter boxes and different pots that I plant. As soon as I get them potted up and watered, the squirrels are in there digging them back up — and they don’t just toss them on the ground; they take them with them. So I figure they must have the most beautiful planted nest ever. The other day, though, I headed out the door to go to work when lo and behold, a squirrel ran right by my feet and ran up the side of the garage and sat on the roof, staring at me. Then another squirrel ran by me in close proximity. I screamed and jumped into my truck. As I’m sitting in my truck going “Whew,” I put on my eyeglasses, and this is what I saw: a squirrel lounging on my potting bench, a squirrel in the bird bath, a squirrel on the fence, staring at me. And, three squirrels chasing each other and a squirrel on the roof of my garage. HELP! I called 911. They didn’t take me seriously, either, and gave me to animal control, who also laughed at my dilemma. Michele McMullen

Squirrel in a dandelion patch While waiting for the traffic light to change, I looked at the yard near the curb. It was covered with dandelions gone to seed. A squirrel was very busy chipping each stalk off. Then, holding the white-headed dandelion in its mouth, the squirrel would blow the seeds off, then chomp down the stalk. I would have enjoyed watching longer, but the driver behind me was getting impatient. Monroe P. Killy, Minneapolis

New generation turns on them It all started when my neighbor and I found four baby squirrels in our yard with their tails tangled up. We worked together to get them separated and they were free. The four stayed in our yard and would go after my husband’s bird feeders. After many different attempts and feeders, we decided if you can’t beat ’em, feed ’em, so we got special squirrel feeders, a bungee corn feeder and many bags of peanuts and corn. They were ours. We even named a few, such as Pudge and Dots. It worked well for a few years. We lived in harmony with our squirrels. We watched them play, eat like pigs. Our neighbors enjoyed the squirrel shows. We even had other squirrels coming from different yards to partake in the peanut and corn feast. When we ran out of food, they would kindly let us know by coming up to the deck and place paws on the sliding doors looking in to tell us, “Hey, we need more food out here!” And, “Our feeders are empty.” Then out we’d go and refill. This went on for more than two years, until this year, when the squirrels turned on us, or, at least their new batch of baby squirrels did. They dug up our yard, ate newly planted perennials, chewed all my spikes, got under one fenced-in annual and took the whole bulb. “That’s it,” I told my husband, “no more.” These new ones are not right in the head. They are jumping around and eating everything, including the food that is just for them. Mom and Pop squirrel forgot to tell their young ones that there are rules to follow in the Menke yard: they feed us, we leave their garden alone. Oh, and leave the cable wire alone, too. So out went the food, down came the feeders. You rascally squirrels are on your own. Alas, we do miss the show. Maybe in the winter we will bring out the food, for a good show. Deborah and Steve Menke, Burnsville

Do Twin Cities swap squirrels? I live east of Lake Nokomis. We have tons of squirrels in our neighborhood, doesn’t everyone? I have a very sweet neighbor, a retired man, who traps the squirrels (live trap) with peanut butter. Then, he releases the squirrels near Hidden Falls Park in St. Paul (or at least I think that is where he is releasing them). I’m thinking how funny it would be if some person in St. Paul was doing the same thing and bringing them to Minneapolis. Megan Miller, Minneapolis

How to squirrel-proof feeder for bears I have a bird-feeding table made out of a sheet of heavy aluminum. It is about 2 feet square, with an aluminum cylinder 5 inches in diameter welded to the center of the aluminum top, that’s standing 4 feet above the ground. The squirrels cannot get their “arms” around it to climb it, and cannot jump high enough to get on it. It is perfectly squirrel-proof. I dump sunflower seeds on top of the table. When the bears come in for the seeds, they just swipe the seeds off into their mouth and don’t bend or break the aluminum pole. It is effective in keeping the squirrels off and is not wrecked by the bears. Also, the feeder is not near any trees, so the squirrels can’t jump on it. In winter, I shovel back the snow if it gets deep enough for the squirrels to jump up on the feeder. Darrel Mathieu, Luck, Wis.

Healing hurt squirrelI have a squirrel encounter at least twice a day! Friend, not foe. His name is Chipper and he must live pretty dang close. He comes for food, company and even medicine. Last year he must have gotten into a pretty good fight because he had an open wound on his back that would not heal for more than two weeks. So one morning I decided to see if he would let me touch him, and much to my surprise he did not get too scared. I got an antibacterial cream and put some on his back where the wound was. When he came back the next day, he let me do it again, for a total of five days straight. Well, it healed very well although he still has a scar in the middle of his back. Some days in the winter he sits on the fence with his legs dangling on either side and watches me in my hot tub. This year he even came by with his pregnant girlfriend and now we have babies running around. They are not as friendly yet. But I have no doubt they will see me as a good and trustworthy food source, just as Chipper did. My friends and neighbors think I am nuts (no pun intended) for encouraging this furry rat, but I actually enjoy his company. John Heller, Minneapolis

Squirrel head appears on carpet I live on the third floor of an apartment building with no nearby trees and my windows have screens. A couple of weeks ago, I was trying to get to sleep, but I kept on waking up. I felt my extra pillow fall on my cheek and I shoved it aside. I then managed to drift off again but felt something run across my comforter over my legs. It felt similar to my fiancé’s cat walking across the bed. I kicked my legs and fell back asleep. I then awoke to a “thunk” at the bottom of my bedpost. I was wide awake by then, and turned on the lights. I heard a “scurrying sound” and rushed into the living room. I flipped on the lights and saw this thing hanging over my picture window. I couldn’t tell whether it was a bat, rat — but it looked at me and started to run across the top. I realized it was a squirrel. It stopped at the end of the window and turned to look at me, then jumped across the room at me and landed on the floor (about 10 feet). I screamed and ran into the bathroom. After regaining some courage, I came out of the bathroom with a broom and started to move tables, chairs, bookcases, rugs and even turned over the sofa. I couldn’t find the darn thing. I called my property manager at 5:30 a.m., but was told this isn’t an “emergency call” and would send someone out in the morning. I packed up my things and went to work. After four trips to my apartment with no sign of the squirrel, the management company just said to keep an eye out. I decided to sleep over at a friend’s that night. The next morning, I came back only to discover that pictures were off the wall and candlesticks knocked over. I spotted something furry in the corner of my bedroom. I turned on the lights, but it was still a bit dark. I grabbed a flashlight and saw a head — no body — just a head. I looked around to see if I could find the missing part of the corpse, but no blood, no fur, no nothing. I figured it may have been decapitated by the ceiling fan. I got a huge pile of paper towels and leaned underneath my vanity to pick it up. It was squishy as I tried to pick it up. It wouldn’t move. I then grabbed the flashlight and shone it on my prey. The squirrel’s head was stuck in a hole in the carpet. The rest of the body was underneath the carpet (which is wall-to-wall carpeting that is glued down to the floor). I decided to leave the removal of the body to the maintenance men. I left them a note with an arrow pointing to the head. When I got home, there was a note saying that the “head” had been removed. … They seem to think that my window air conditioning unit had a space that was big enough for the squirrel to climb into my room. The unit has now been secured tightly into my window. Hopefully nothing else will happen. The property manager said it was a flying squirrel. Nancy Teel

Look out! The squirrels have backupWe have bird feeders, so therefore we also feed squirrels. Over the years, the population has grown and we can usually count anywhere from 10 to 14 squirrels in our yard at any given time. Recently, I noticed that there seemed to be a lot of birdseed falling onto the ground. One night about 3:30 a.m. I was awakened by a crash on the deck, so I went to investigate. I found my plant stand knocked over and all three plants spilled out on the deck. On the deck railing were two large raccoons who were busy stuffing their faces with birdseed. I can’t seem to win for losing because now the squirrels have the raccoons on their side. Barb Stanley, Apple Valley

Minnesota squirrel for Mexican bride My encounter with squirrels happened on my first visit to Minneapolis in October. I had seen squirrels before in Mexico City, but never so up close. My husband, who was my boyfriend at that time, gave me a nice sweet furry stuffed squirrel to take back home with me, so I would not miss them so much. We got married and I came to live in Minneapolis in February and since then I’ve been having a nice and funny relationship with squirrels. Our apartment is on the lower level of the building and our bedroom window is only a couple of feet above the ground. Every morning, I put some peanuts on the edge of the window, and a squirrel that I named Tita comes for food and to play. She likes to sit on the edge of the open window and starts to make noises at 5:30 a.m., just to let me know that she is ready for breakfast. However, I don’t get up until 6 a.m., so she waits to hear my voice and searches for me, wanting me to bring her some peanuts. As she is very excited about the peanuts, the first one is very difficult to put it out, I have to open the screen just a little bit. She wants to take it from my hand, but I’m afraid she might bite or scratch me. When I finally make her jump down from the window, I give her just one peanut, then I put out a few more. These experiences have happened since I arrived, and now I can identify Tita from other squirrels that come every day for peanuts as well. It’s so wonderful to enjoy these moments each day. MariaElena Lopez-Shetler

Squirrel is poor builderFor more than a week, we’ve had a squirrel apparently setting up a condominium in our very large old oak tree. He isn’t satisfied to have one nest. At last count, he’d created seven. We think that he is either not a very good builder or perhaps he enjoys wrecking them. Freshly chewed branches rain from the tree each time he builds, and after any wind. We’ve been collecting one to two leaf bags full of branches each day. We’re concerned that he could harm the tree or that a branch could fall on someone’s head, not to mention the headache of constantly picking up after him. Why is this squirrel doing this? Is there a solution to prevent him from cutting down so many branches? Should we be concerned about the health of our tree? [Fixit says: Horticulturists say that, in most cases, the pruning probably will not kill the tree. As with many squirrel behaviors, there’s not much you can do about it.] Teresa and James Thomas-Carroll

Anger management for squirrelOne of my squirrel visitors needs anger management — he won’t let another squirrel on the deck, let alone near the feeder. He chases them off, stops to chatter in anger and then takes a bite out of the wood railing and spits it out. Nancy

Squirrel unscrews corn cobWe have many squirrels in our yard, so several years ago I bought a Twirly for feeding corn to the squirrels. The ears of corn are screwed onto the Twirly, and if the squirrels want to eat the corn, they usually have to “take a spin” on the Twirly. I usually try to buy older corn so that the core of the cob is thoroughly dried out. One year I bought the current crop, which worked well until I noticed that a squirrel had the ear of corn in his teeth and was walking counterclockwise around the Twirly, unscrewing the ear of corn. After a few minutes he had his ear of corn and was last seen scurrying up the tree. Duane Heitz, Miltona, Minn.

Squirrel vs. Yankee FlipperI have an unusually dumb squirrel. He keeps jumping from the ground to my Yankee Flipper bird feeder, a “state of the art” feeder guaranteed to use cordless power to spin the squirrel off the perch. Dumb because he kept jumping on and spinning. First, spinning for one or two rounds before jumping off. One day later, he held on about eight twirls. That dumb squirrel was purposely spinning birdseed on the ground because as soon as he let go, he immediately ate his ground supply. Then, up again to twirl for more goodies. Dumb squirrel? Eunice

Squirrel chews bathrobe, dressI like to hang clothes out on the clothesline in the back yard to take advantage of the sunshine and fresh air smell it gives the clothes and bedding. A little red squirrel decided to perch on the top of the line and eat holes in the shoulders of my bathrobe and my daughter’s favorite dress, and claw and rip several parts of both garments, ruining both. The squirrel was in a frenzy clawing and chewing the clothing! What’s up with this? Now I am afraid to hang anything out and sad to miss out on using my clothesline this summer. Debra Palmquist, Plymouth

Squirrels vs. walkie-talkie My mom actually came up with this idea. Take two walkie-talkies, and put one in a bird feeder. When a squirrel or chipmunk jumps on the feeder, you wait a little, then scream, shout, or make a loud noise into the walkie-talkie. (They both have to be turned on before you begin.) Anyways, say something like, “HEY! You get off that feeder, mister, or you’ll be sorry,” or “WHAT are you doing? GET OFF THAT FEEDER,” or anything else you want. Make loud noises into the walkie-talkie until the squirrel is off. It is a little short-term, so make sure to rotate it around to different problem feeders when the squirrels don’t seem to mind the noise. Amy

Squirrel vs. Shirl the Squirrel KillerI came in for a break from yard work and was headed to the bathroom when I heard an odd sound. I also noticed a wet spot on the floor near the toilet, and I was concerned that there was something wrong with the plumbing. Then I heard another noise, this time from behind the door of the bathroom. I moved the door aside and saw a wet squirrel that had been swimming in my toilet bowl. He looked at me as if he were asking for a towel. I looked at him as if he were asking for an acorn souffle. I later determined that he had entered the house through a pipe; like James Bond in “Dr. No,” he had swum into the lair of his natural enemy, me, Shirl the Squirrel Killer. A chase ensued worth of the opening credits of a Bond film. His four furry paws against my two work-boot clad feet. He was quicker and obviously wanted a tour of the house. We went through the kitchen and around the living room. Along the way, I grabbed things, a wastepaper basket and a broom, you know, in case one of us made a mess. He went into the den. I shut the door, sealing him inside, and considered what to do next. One thing I probably should have thought of was plugging the space beneath the door. It is barely an inch wide, but it proved to be enough for him to slither out and the chase is on again. I followed him down the hall through my bedroom and into the master bathroom. There, he slipped into the tub and I thought I had him trapped. The tub is deep, the sides are slick and the beast has no opposable thumbs. I thought about filling the tub and drowning him, but I knew he liked water. He’d be more likely to ask for a loofah and a bar of oak-scented soap than to drown. While I was deciding what to do next, he somehow managed to get out of the tub. I still had the trash basket and managed to clamp it down over him; well, over most of him. His head was sticking out one side of the basket. I stepped on the basket and figured he would soon breathe his last. Unfortunately, he seemed to be one of those squirrels with a titanium trachea and wasn’t even rasping. … I couldn’t reach anything helpful without getting off the pail and setting him loose once more. I thought about using the broom, but outside of brushing his coat, I couldn’t image why I had carried it around in the first place. Finally I realized that I had what I needed with me all along. So I stomped the living daylights out of him with my work boots. A little blood, a crushed skull and it was off to the big oak tree in the sky. “Shirl the Squirrel Killer,” aka Shirley Gazzola, North Mankato, Minn.

Squirrel finds bread in kitchen My squirrel encounter began three weeks ago on a Saturday morning. Our house was built in 1949 so no central air — just window units. I awoke to the sound of someone or something trying to fiddle with one of the window screens. I walked into the kitchen to find a very brave squirrel sitting on my window sill, helping himself to some bread that was on the counter and then furiously chewing a hole in the screen to escape back outside. After he was back outside, I watched him walk along the side of the house, clinging to the stucco and checking out another kitchen window. From there, he sat at the top of the fence gate and stared at me for a few minutes before leaving the yard. Needless to say, I was quite surprised with his boldness, amazed that he would even try to gain entry to the house. A house with a dog, no less! At any rate, the air conditioner units went in that morning and all the windows were closed so there were no issues with Mr. Squirrel popping back in for a bite to eat. After a few days, the air was turned off and the windows opened and my husband was awakened by the sound of his glasses hitting the floor. He walked into the kitchen to find another package of bread chewed open and the hole in the screen just a bit bigger. We both knew it had to be the same squirrel. The hole in the screen was then covered with duct tape and the windows barely cracked so nothing could gain entry. Fast forward to Monday, July 2. I was getting ready for work and as I walked into the kitchen for more coffee, I looked out the window and saw a squirrel sitting by the apple tree, casing the kitchen windows. My first thought was, “It’s him.” I knew this was the same criminal who had already entered my home on two occasions and this was war. The live trap was set with, of course, bread. Tuesday morning I watched the varmint try to pull bread through the sides of the live trap and he even entered it, reaching over the trigger spot, careful not the set the trap door off. I must admit, he was a smart and brave little dude, but his days were numbered. The bread paid off because when I got home from work that day, we had a squirrel in the live trap. I felt bad for him, he was young and scared and had spent most of the day with our chocolate Lab knocking the cage around and barking at the poor fellow. I have always been an animal lover and I just couldn’t follow through and sentence this poor creature to death. So, I named him Scooter Libby and we commuted him to a public golf course about two miles from our house with the dog giving chase. I still have the hole in my screen and I wonder if squirrels are smart enough to find their way back or if he is passing our address out to all his new friends, telling them of the bread on the counter. If he is so smart to come back for a third time … he is going down. Teri Seawell, Columbia Heights

Ever higher, squirrel finds feeder I have put a thin wire about 9 feet off the ground. I have had to remove my bird feeder because the squirrels will walk the tight rope wire. They even do this in the winter. This was supposed to be a fool-proof method to keep them away. It is also about 5 feet from the tree or deck. I also have a window feeder. They would jump from the deck to the window. I moved it. It was 5 feet off the ground and they were able to jump up to the feeder that is attached to the window by suction cups. OK, now I moved it to the top of the window and it is about 10 feet off the ground. One day we saw them climb up the middle of our crank-out windows, which are closed, and get into the feeder. I am now ready to go to the second story and see what they will do. They are very evil! Sue Berke

Squirrel vs. Penn State student Although I am no longer in the Twin Cities area, I’m in graduate school at Penn State, I’ve had an ongoing war with the squirrels on my back patio for over a year when I lived in the Twin Cities. My prior attempts were so many that I made a picture book about them. After numerous unsuccessful attempts, I finally managed to make significant headway with a new “squirrel-proof” bird feeder. Although this feeder has significantly cut down my squirrel problems, there was still one squirrel that managed to find a way to eat from the feeder. At first I figured that I’d just let the one squirrel eat and leave well enough alone. I just couldn’t do it! That darn squirrel kept eating and I got more and more frustrated. I toyed with ideas about how to stop it, but I finally figured it out! I made a plexiglass sandwich with a square dowel in the middle of the sandwich. This sandwich fit over the hanging part of my bird feeder and prevents the squirrel from getting hold enough to eat the seeds. A week into the project and it’s still working — the squirrel hasn’t managed to figure it out. I’m extremely excited! If you would like to see pictures of what I’m talking about, I’ve posted my entire squirrel saga at the following address: www.personal.psu.edu/users/m/a/mat294/the-war_online.htm Now I just need to figure out the chipmunk. Maggie

Entertaining but chews metal We have a maple tree that has housed countless families of squirrels over the years. It is actually kind of fun watching youngsters play and try to hide from us on the stucco of the house. They figure if they quietly lie flat enough, we won’t see them. … Unfortunately, they love sharpening their teeth as they grow up, and with each new brood, they have damaged the garage trim and siding and some of the stucco. But their latest tactic is driving us crazy. They are sharpening their teeth on the chain link fence ties, chewing them down until they are completely cut through. We now have to replace all the ties on our fence! Anyone know how to make the ties distasteful? Barbara Lutz [Fixit says: The best advice I’ve heard is to apply repellent (commercial varieties are available at garden and home stores). However, it has to be renewed regularly. Depending on the size of the fence, that could be an expensive and time-consuming task, unfortunately. ]

He was a 12-pounder I’ve had squirrel problems ever since I moved to a wooded area of Fridley last year. One of our first purchases was a wire mesh bird feeder to attract birds. In the winter months, my family and I would turn off the TV and simply watch the birds. We would pull out the binoculars and a field guide to get a better look to identify these birds. After spring 2007, and the arrival of the newborn squirrels, we would often hear the chaos and loud commotions from the wire-mesh feeder. There was a constant struggle with the squirrels in the feeder. We had one that weighed upwards of maybe 12 pounds, which would dominate the feeder. The birds would simply stand by to get their turn. The other, younger squirrels would squeal and hiss to distract the big “12 pounder” in hopes to get their turn. We counted eight squirrels at a time trying to get to the feeder. The cost to fill that feeder began reaching the $20 mark weekly. The noises were disturbing and scary when you’re not ready for it. To eliminate the problems at the feeder, we decided to have the “12 pounder” evicted. We attempted to use a pellet gun. He was way too fast and sneaky. I would take aim and he would roll around the trunk of the tree totally out of sight. After a couple of attempts the big gray squirrel caught on. By the time I opened the door he was already well out of range and in the neighbor’s trees. These attempts were not effective. I don’t recommend anyone to use a pellet gun. So the noises continued, the birds were going hungry and the cost of feed continued to escalate. While shopping at the local lumberyard, I went by the live traps. I decided to make that purchase of a live trap. How hard could it be to catch a squirrel? He was big, but the trap was bigger. I made that purchase. I placed the trap under the tree with some peanuts as bait, and within minutes after taking down the wire mesh feeder, I caught the “big 12 pounder.” One after another, I caught each and every one. Daily I was making my rounds to the park near our house to relocate the squirrels. No more harassment from the feeder. Just the cardinals, jays and chickadees. Tony Rossi

Bird house becomes squirrel house In spring 2004 , I put up a birdhouse in our back yard. It was made of old barn lumber so it had a great weathered look about it. I was hopeful of attracting some song birds to this new house. The next spring, I noticed that we did indeed have a tenant in the bird house, but it turned out to be a squirrel. It took possession for the entire summer making necessary modifications to the entrance to allow for his larger body. How did we solve the squirrel problem you ask? After the squirrel’s alterations to the entrance, we learned to accept the things we couldn’t change and renamed the bird house to a squirrel house. David C. Johnson, Minneapolis,

Mothballs!!! After many tries to move the squirrel who set up housekeeping in our front door porch roof and before I was going to fill the space with concrete, a friend suggested I put a handfull of mothballs in the space. The squirrel has move and stayed away! Anonymous

Keeping squirrels at a tail's length

2007-07-26T09:54:00.000-05:00

As a protected species, squirrels can't be killed in urban areas unless they are doing damage. Even then, killing squirrels is not an easy task. You can't discharge a gun in the city, for instance. The best approach is to enjoy squirrels' antics while limiting their damage:

• Prevent squirrel entry into buildings by sealing gaps and holes. Install a mesh cover on the chimney. If they get in, trapping will get them out. You can release them outdoors, but don't transport them to another area and release them. Consider employing a pest-control company. A trail of peanuts or almonds also works, readers said.

• Use fences and covers to keep them out of gardens, but you might need to be creative. Place metal mesh in the ground to keep them from digging up tulip bulbs.

• Use squirrel repellents, available at garden stores. Or sprinkle areas with cayenne pepper or hot sauce. Repellents need to be renewed regularly.

• Some suggest offering food, such as cobs of corn, so they'll eat that instead of your crops. Supplying a water source limits garden thievery, some say.

• Don't feed birds in summer. Add a squirrel guard or use a squirrel-resistant feeder at other times of the year.

• Short of tying a dog to the trunk or nailing a metal baffle on the tree, there's no way to protect fruit on trees. Some say mothballs in pantyhose hung in trees will keep squirrels away. (The neighbors, too, probably.)

Triumph of the squirrels

2007-07-26T09:52:00.000-05:00

So cute. So conniving. So harmless. So destructive. We humans have a love-hate relationship with our charming varmint neighbors, who sometimes get a little too close for comfort.

By Karen Youso, Star Tribune

Are squirrels little creatures that make us chuckle, or are they destructive, thieving critters that drive us nuts? A little of both, it turns out.

Those large almond eyes and bushy tails are attached to determined, hard-core rodents. Squirrels -- sometimes called rats with cosmetic enhancements -- scamper about innocently enough, but also clean out bird feeders, run off with apples and break into homes.

When I asked readers to share their squirrel stories, I received lots of "love 'em" letters, but also tales of frustration with squirrels and squirrel lovers alike. As one reader put it:

"Many people think that squirrels are cute, almost pets and they provide food for them, enabling them to multiply, spread disease and damage property."

Squirrels have a long history. Aristotle dubbed them "skiourus," or "shade tail," which eventually became "squirrel." And in the original French fairy tale, Cinderella's slippers weren't glass, but squirrel fur. (The reason for the change is unclear, but many French nouns sound alike.)

Today, they thrive in near paradise -- the mature trees, vegetable gardens and back-yard bird feeders of city and suburban neighborhoods, where the duality of being cute and aggravating produces the obvious results.

Some people love squirrels. They feed them and laugh at their antics, give them names and shoot pictures of them. Others hate them for the destruction they can wreak on house and garden. They'd just like to shoot the varmints, period.

Few readers offered solutions to squirrel problems, probably because there aren't many. Squirrels are legally protected animals, and they are smart. The part of their brains responsible for remembering details regarding food is well developed, researchers say. They also have well-honed survival skills, including how they raise their young.

"The mother squirrel carried her babies across the street to bird feeders and showed them where the food was," wrote reader Beverly Carlson of Brooklyn Park. "She brought them over, one at a time, hanging from her mouth, like a cat."

Bird feeders beware

Indeed, most of the stories concerned bird feeders, especially how brainy squirrels bested even the most exotic "squirrel-proof feeder." But when the critters branch out to a bigger menu -- tulip bulbs, tomatoes and back-yard fruit -- they can really rile.

Every year, squirrels spend two or three days picking clean the fruit trees in Bill Ferrell's yard in Excelsior, and burying their booty in the woods across the road. He laments that about 200 pears and hundreds more apples will just rot in the ground this year.

More troubling is the incessant, destructive chewing. Squirrels gnaw on lawn furniture, clothes drying on the line, even chain-link fences. Like other rodents, squirrels' teeth grow continuously. If they don't chew, their teeth will get too long to eat. (Pregnant or stressed squirrels chew the most and favor metal, naturalists say.) They'll munch their way into homes, even cutting through window screens to break and enter.

After Leah Lawrence of Minneapolis shooed away a squirrel from a kitchen window one morning, her 17-year-old son called her at work, hysterical. "The squirrel had gotten into the house and had come into his room, climbed up on his bed, walked across his back (while he was sleeping) then onto his head, and then ran out of the room."

These are the behaviors that create a sputtering Donald Duck-like frenzy in people as they reach for their shotguns. But they should stop. They need a license ($20), they need to wait for the season opener (Sept. 15) and they need to remember that it's illegal in most cities to fire a gun. (Satisfy all the requirements, however, and Squirrels in Cream Sauce and other fine recipes are at www.startribune.com/lifestyle.)

Damage control

Most people don't want to kill little creatures -- no matter how naughty. So they humanely trap problem squirrels and drive them 5 miles away to release them. Not a good idea, experts now say. The squirrels are taken from their nest and family and dropped into new, unfamiliar territory. Not only is their survival threatened, but they also put pressure on the new area's resident squirrels. It's just shipping the problem elsewhere.

"We took him to a park and just as we were letting him go, a woman came screaming at us from the house across the road, livid that we were one of several dozen people who seem to think we can move our squirrel problems into her neighborhood," wrote Michael Lewis Schrock of Minneapolis.

Victims of squirrel mischief shouldn't try for a squirrel-free life (only Hawaii and Australia fit that bill, I'm told). Even if every squirrel in the yard is trapped or killed, the offspring of neighboring squirrels will soon fill the void. So the advice of Marian Ziebell of Minneapolis is to forget trying to solve the problem and just watch them.

That may be best. If these cute, smart-aleck, determined little rodents ever get organized, it could be our worst nightmare. According to a 2005 BBC report, a stray dog in the Russian village of Lazo was barking at squirrels in a tree when a number of them suddenly descended and attacked, killing the dog. The squirrels ran off, some toting pieces of flesh, the report said. The reason the squirrels snapped was the dearth of pine cones that year. They were hungry.

Even after giving into peaceful coexistence, you can try to prevent or at least minimize squirrel damage by blocking their access to your home and garden goodies (see box on E1). But don't be surprised if you're not entirely successful.

Starting early last century, Bell Labs tested deterrents to prevent squirrels from chewing through telephone lines, which cost millions annually to repair. According to a news report, the company tried metal, paint, weasel scent, rabbit repellent and shock devices, everything nonlethal. After 50 years of trying, research stopped. The squirrel always won.

2007-07-26T09:50:00.000-05:00

Each Wore a Tiny Trench Coat

2007-07-23T10:47:00.001-05:00

From the BBC translators, an editorial by Saleh Eskandari headlined "spying squirrels," published July 10 by the Iranian newspaper Resalat.

"A few weeks ago, 14 squirrels equipped with espionage systems of foreign intelligence services were captured by [Iranian] intelligence forces along the country's borders. These trained squirrels, each of which weighed just over 700 grams, were released on the borders of the country for intelligence and espionage purposes. According to the announcement made by Iranian intelligence officials, alert police officials caught these squirrels before they could carry out any task.

"Fixing GPS devices, bugging instruments and advanced cameras in the bodies of trained animals like squirrels, mice, hamsters, etc, are among modern methods of collecting intelligence. Given the fast speed and the special physical features of these animals, they provide special capabilities for spying operations. Once the animals return to their place of origin, the intelligence gathered by them is then offloaded. . . ."

Always thought there was something squirrelly about those folks.

2007-07-18T14:37:00.000-05:00

From Overheard in New York

Hobo leaning over and talking to squirrels: Why are you a squirrel?! Why?!

--Washington Square Park

Squirrel Spys?

2007-07-09T13:40:00.001-05:00

According to IRNA, the official Islamic Republic news agency, the national Police chief has implicitly verified the news about the confiscation of a number of squirrels, equipped with eavesdropping devices, on the Iranian borders. He has declined to give any more details, but, reportedly, when asked about the confiscation of 14 spy squirrels, he stated, “I have heard about it, but I do not have precise information”. IRNA adds, “These squirrels were equipped by foreign intelligence services, but were captured two weeks ago by the Police”.

German squirrel on a rampage injures 3 people

2007-06-15T09:19:00.000-05:00

Reuters
Updated: 8:23 a.m. CT June 14, 2007

72-year-retiree dispatches rowdy rodent with a crutch
injured three people in a German town before a 72-year-old pensioner dispatched the rampaging animal with his crutch.

The squirrel first ran into a house in the southern town of Passau, leapt from behind on a 70-year-old woman, and sank its teeth into her hand, a local police spokesman said on Thursday.

With the squirrel still hanging from her hand, the woman ran onto the street in panic, where she managed to shake it off.

The animal then entered a building site and jumped on a construction worker, injuring him on the hand and arm, before he managed to fight it off with a measuring pole.

"After that, the squirrel went into the 72-year-old man's garden and massively attacked him on the arms, hand and thigh," the spokesman said. "Then he killed it with his crutch."

The spokesman said experts thought the attack may have been linked to the mating season or because the squirrel was ill.

Pet Squirrels and Motorbike Torching

2007-06-11T11:55:00.000-05:00

TEL AVIV, Israel, June 10 A Israeli man has been indicted on arson charges for allegedly torching another man's motorbike because he wouldn't hand over his pet squirrel.

Anton Surami, 25, of Ramat Gan was indicted in Tel Aviv District Court Sunday, Ynetnews reported.

The victim, whose name was not released, said he was carrying his pet squirrel in his fanny pack when Surami grabbed it and tried to take it with him. The man stopped Surami and took his pet back.

Later the same day, the victim allegedly received a phone call from Surami in which he threatened to burn down his house if he didn't turn over the squirrel.

Afraid of losing his home, the man complied and met Surami, who allegedly proceeded to shove and slap the complainant, as well as attempt to attack him with a kitchen knife.

The man managed to escape, but two hours later, Surami allegedly torched his bike.

Plague monkey dies in US zoo (from eating a Squirrel!)

2007-05-22T09:26:00.001-05:00

Colorado health and zoo officials say a Denver Zoo monkey has died of bubonic plague, apparently after eating a squirrel stricken with the disease.

Denver Zoo spokeswoman Ana Bowie said five squirrels and a rabbit found dead on zoo grounds tested positive for the flea-borne disease in recent weeks.

On May 15, zookeepers noticed the eight-year-old hooded capuchin monkey was lethargic, and the next day it was found dead in its enclosure.

Zoo veterinarians sent tissue samples to a state laboratory which determined that the animal died of the plague.

Zoo veterinarian Dave Kenny said the risk of plague spreading to humans was extremely low, but visitors were being urged to avoid squirrels and rabbits.

"There are species in the zoo collection, especially monkeys, that could be susceptible to the plague," said John Pape, an epidemiologist with the Colorado Department of Public Health and Environment.

Ms Bowie says none of the 17 other capuchin monkeys in the exhibit - or any other animals at the zoo - have shown plague symptoms.

But she says, as a precaution, all the capuchin monkeys have been moved to an inside enclosure and are being treated with a regimen of antibiotics.